Because of You
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: An extension of the scene at the end of "Guilt" in which Mac calls Chloe. Mac/Chloe, mentions of Mac/Harm.


**This is an extension of the last scene of 7.04, partly what I was feeling-sad that Mac and Chloe are mostly on a phone call relationship, and just feeling bad for Mac a lot so far that season. So I formulated this in my head and just now had the time to write it all up-I love Mac/Chloe so much I felt almost obligated to write **_**something**_** for them at some point. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own nothing. ; )**

Mac held the chunky phone out in front of her as she listened to Chloe's voice, marveling at how crisp and clear the girl sounded, how confidant, such a far cry from the girl she'd taken on after her mother had passed away. So far from the child who switched between timid and mischievous, between introverted and angry.

So much had changed since then. Chloe was a long way away now. It wasn't like she lived in Europe or anything, but she wasn't a car ride away. If she ever needed Mac, she couldn't just show up at JAG like she had the Christmas that she'd met Harm, Bud, Harriet, and the Admiral. The memories of the anxiety attacks Mac experienced when Chloe was missing, before she could get out there, were still fresh in her mind.

That night brought to mind the night Harm's plane had gone down, not that long ago, and her connection to him that had granted her the ability to pinpoint his position over the entire ocean. Both people that she loved enough, connected with enough, and had saved due to some uncanny knowing were more distant from her than she would have liked. But with Harm, she'd consciously pulled away because she was hurt. Because she didn't want to feel so much. With Chloe, it was the potential for happiness that had driven them apart, the distance put between them upon the location of her father-someone whom Mac was grateful to have found alive, since she couldn't do that for Harm-and grandparents. Chloe was better off on their farm, riding through the woods with Scout, Jingo trotting alongside, and being with her biological family, than she had been in an abusive non-familial house hold. And despite the little girl's claims to the contrary, she would not have been better off with Mac, a full time marine who had her own personal issues to work out. The Christmas she'd found Chloe's father, Mac had been thankful that she had not pursued adoption; it would have been all the more difficult to let go.

Even as it was, Chloe's move had been tough on the marine. It has signaled a shift in their dynamic that depressed Mac a little more than she cared to admit. Before, Chloe would tell everyone that asked about her that Mac was her mother. Bud, Harriet, people at restaurants, police, librarians, Mac had lost count of how many people had not only assumed that they were mother and daughter, but were flat out told so by Chloe herself. And although Mac would laugh and correct Chloe and chide her for the deception, a little part of her loved the fact that someone considered her to be filling that role in their life. When Chloe moved out to her grandparent's ranch, Mac fell into the 'big sister' role, and she would never admit out loud that she did miss being considered someone's mother. Chloe, who didn't have any siblings, probably considered Mac agreeing to call her a little sister as something really special, but the word was tainted in Mac's mind.

Before she'd fallen in love with him, Mac had thought that Harm saw her as a sister. She felt she'd thrown that word around too much in the past for it to have any meaning now. But she supposed that first of all, Chloe didn't know that, and second of all, her go – to person that she'd also given that title to she was now in love with. So she supposed she did have standards as to who she called 'siblings' But combining that shift in her relationship with Chloe and Chloe moving farther away still made it hurt more. She felt demoted. And it didn't help that Chloe was now rattling off names like Amy and Carly and Danny, names that were attached to people that Chloe had seen, touched, smiled at and laughed with. People that Mac didn't know, had never seen or spoken to. Chloe knew them, knew their stories, and they were a part of her life. But Mac only knew their names and that they liked NSYNC. And she hated that Chloe felt she had to ask if Mac remembered Scout. How could she forget Scout?

Mac shifted her weight, struggling to not let the tears fall because she knew she'd have to speak again at some point and didn't want Chloe to worry; the girl had expressed enough concern in this phone call already. It wasn't Chloe's fault that she was feeling so low; it was the combination of her experiences on this assignment and her feelings for Harm and her longing to have Chloe there to cuddle that were coming to a head all at once.

But at least she could talk to her from this dark ship on the Indian Ocean. At least she had a relationship with a girl who flat out admitted to feeling badly about her snark; a rare trait in people of that age. Whether her comments made Mac uncomfortable or not, it was always a little bit nice to have someone who knew her well enough to call her out on things, such as her love for Harm at a time where Mac barely admitted it to herself. _And_ Chloe considered Mac important enough to tell her the details about her life; whether those details involved people Mac knew or horses Mac may or may not remember, Chloe told her. And Mac suspected it was both because she wanted to tell and because she knew Mac wanted to know.

"…I found the cutest skirt to wear! My grandma thinks it's too short, but I told her it's the style. You'd think it was really cool."

Mac let out a breath and closed her eyes, and after a few moments of silence, Chloe spoke again. "Mac?"

Mac swallowed. "Yes?"

"You're not okay."

"Oh, of course I am!" she said, forcing a smile before realizing that Chloe couldn't see it. "I just miss you. That's all."

"I miss you too," Chloe said, sounding a little bit confused; they'd seen each other just a few weeks before. "But that's not why you're crying."

"I'm not crying, Chloe," Mac said wiping her eyes.

"Lies." Chloe's voice was soft. "Tell me."

"I just…" she shrugged. "I just wish that I was a bigger part of your life."

"Are you kidding?" Chloe said. "You're the biggest part of my life." At Mac's silence, the girl continued. "You got me out of that bad situation and helped me find my Dad. Everything great that's happened to me since my mother died has been entirely because of you. It doesn't matter how great my biological family treats me. They'd never have had the chance to do so if you hadn't been so wonderful to me. And girls get angry at their mothers, they resent them for withholding responsibility or for disciplining. And you don't do that. Girls get angry at their sisters for taking their clothes or stealing their boyfriends or getting asked to the dance sooner. And you don't do that either." Mac sighed again, hearing jingling and knowing that Jingo was shifting his weight or perhaps getting up. "Mac," Chloe said again, and Mac could hear her smile, "we're perfect."

She wiped her eyes once more. "I know," she said, smiling through her tears. "We're perfect and far away."

"That's almost better," she said. "We won't see each other enough to get on each other's nerves. You know what a pest I can be."

Mac wanted to protest that Chloe was never a pest, but she sensed the girl was trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe you're right," she said. "When did you get so wise?"

"I'm not sure," Chloe said, "but I'm sure whenever it was, it was because of you, too."

Mac cleared her throat. "So will…will I see you at Christmas?"

"If Dad's deployed, you couldn't keep me away."

"Good," Mac said. "Uh, look, I really do have to go now, but I love you, okay?"

"Love you too," Chloe said. "Call me if you see any Indians, okay?"

Mac gave a short laugh. "I will." She leaned back and sighed, moving her feet over to better rest on the jacket; the floor was cold enough already.

Maybe she'd screwed up with Harm and maybe she'd failed to ensure the safety of everyone on this assignment. But she and Chloe weren't broken. And as she sat alone in the dark on that ship making its way across the ocean, knowing that was enough.


End file.
